god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
