So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
