we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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