all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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