In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
