He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
even my farts smell like vagina
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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