i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
