no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
