I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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