i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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