yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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