I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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