I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
