Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
