just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
time to smoke my breakfast
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
