This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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