Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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