Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
