Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
