you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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