he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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