We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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