Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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