So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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