WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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