I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
COCAINE IS GR8
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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