wat bout pragnant strippers??
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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