We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
