beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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