I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
