Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i used baking grease as lip gloss
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
