I'm jealous of your bromance
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
