so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You are a genius and a whore.
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