So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
