Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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