He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Randomize
