Its about making memories worth repressing
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
