i just google imaged poop.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
