1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
