I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
