I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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