Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
