what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
