Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
