Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
