That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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