Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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