so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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