WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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