I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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