She said her name was "party"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
