Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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