It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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