The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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