I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize