Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
