I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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