maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
