I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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