Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
