her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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