Screwed.edu
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
