shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
