And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well you can't waste a boner
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Randomize
