Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
