Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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