yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i drank out of a bidet.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
