did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
